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Friday, January 30, 2009

伤感 and 悲哀

ok. im officially noted as bored. tomorrow, from what i noe now, is the day when he has to go to china. feeling well kinda indifferent, tt is until im writing this. mayb bcos todae i kept myself so bz i cud nt afford the tym to tink about unhappy things lyk this. ok, so now im feeling down, deep deep deep down. funni, seein that im staying on the twelve floor of a fourteen floor flat.

hrmm. so this is the small scale of what im suppose to feel tmr? stressing on the suppose. well. im nt sure but i feel that we aint going anywhere anymore... as in, i miss him and all but it has been forever since he contacted me. is it that he is still grounded? or that he no longer feel it heated anymore. it seems to be cooling off juz too fast for my body to adjust. blehs.. thinking of bio. homeostasis... z.z"... owels. i dont know anymore. does he still miss me. does he still like me. does he still love me?

if those answers to the questions are yes-es, den why dont he contact me? cn a relationship reali sustain wifout conversations n communications?? i've always tot relationships r a two way ting. but nw, its nt even a one way its no way. cos im the type hu returns love yet dont initiate love.. haiz.. ytd, one of my frens came to my hse. we toked. n soon we reached tis subject. then he told me tt if one realli lyks another, one would go all out to contact the other. looks like grounded aint an excuse anymore.

so he hasnt contacted me yet. so i dont know whens the flight looks lyk i cnt see him for the last tym afterall. seems lyk its gona be a fone break up. well, we did agree on breakin b4 he leaves. i wonder if he is gona call me when he reaches china. i juz wonder.

owels. lets change the topic. today, there was this annoying guy. he is lyk getting on my nerves all the tym. i told him clearli tt we wont work out, yet he does not gt it. i try to ignore him, but he always sprints over n frowns n shouts at me for doing so. whats wrong with him?! 爱人而不被爱是伤感,但,被爱而不还爱是悲哀。 why am i both?

so guys wen r y'all gona contact me n go away frm me? u juz left me hangin...