it has been a damn long time till i felt so empty again. i thought i was getting use to life, but everything just have to fall right down sooner than the taste of accomplishment could be felt. it's a horrible gut feeling, vibrating tears to fall but eyes that are too dry do not conform.
Pretentious
i always thought we were mature enough
to know that playing pretend makes things worse as it is.
it is no tea party, nor happy family-
a dad, a mom and 2 kids.
take off the embelishments from the knife.
as pure as it is, hunt.
dont lurk in the shadows, as if i was blind.
come on. just stab me in the front.
i have no idea, so enlighten me.
does gossipping satisfy you?
does it fulfil your sadistic inside,
till you forgot that i could also feel?
i am humane, flesh, blood and all,
emotions are part of me.
so just stand up and confront if you must,
dont act like i cant see.
dont throw me up to the peak of my world,
only to realise that you wont be there.
when i fall, there are no hands that would catch.
oh, so this is your plan.
to destroy my heart, crush, obliterate,
till there's nothing left.
no warning signs, no turning signals,
you do know stealing my life is theft.
i really dont get it, you left me alone,
curious, shocked, in pain.
and now im forced to pretend,
you're driving me insane!
that disgusted smile i stick on my face,
everytime i look at you.
elated! happy! life's marvellous!
while in side im singing the blues.
what can i do now? i feel so trapped.
why cant you just talk to me.
it's not like its so hard and impossible to do,
this simple act will set me free.
unbind me, cut my ropes.
there shall be no strings attached.
for i am so sick of this selfish life,
a new agnes shall soon hatch.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Tuesday, May 04, 2010
Ireland
"im back from ireland!"
this statement, even i myself am unable to decifer if its a cry of joy or just a cry.
just a minute before our airplane landed on singapore ground, the cork airport closed due to the volcanic air. i know we're blessed with safety since im sure many of us have like used up most of our money on shopping and cannot survive a few more days in Ireland with that few euros left. however, the non-plus point is- school tmr.
i cant believe im actually mugging the last min for a lecture test tmr! so shitty. haiz.
the cork international competition results- singapore NJChoir, 5th position out of 10! we got a score of 89.67%! the 4th placing had 89.75%. less than 0.1% difference! what with all the decimals. 3rd placing was 90% so we were GOOD. GREAT. and ROCKING!
it was a fun experience. although 5/10 does not look to good. but i dont think that those numbers are the ones that count. what we should count is: not the number of hours but the amount of effort put in by everyone. the amount of emotions that staggered their way into our hearts. the amount of friendship fostered and bounded. the amount of love given and secured. and that adds up to infinity. this number counts.
it was definitely a treat to remember, kissing the magical stone that gives eloquence. hearing the unglamourous screams of our dear teacher who,in the most awkward position ever imagined, attempting to kiss the stone and seeing a friend kiss the wall thinking it was the stone was unforgettable. i will definitely miss that.
i will also miss cam hoaring with all my other friends. fromt he trip, i realised that camerers are magnets with attracts many cam hoars to come(this includes me!) fortunately, i didnt bring a camerer! it will take ages to upload everything!hahas
i will also definitely miss taking pains to take out eye makeup after the gala concert. hahas. it was fun preparing for it. nicole on my hair, jialing and yingli on my dress, hillary on my makeup. i felt like a movie star!! and an exhibition too. so many strangers asked to take pictures with me. hahas. >.- i have to thank: NICOLE JIALING(not me) YINGLI HILLARY ANDREA LIYU for helping me with my costume, hair and makeup. kudos to them!
it is an obvious that i 've grown closer to many. and i feel that i've known them better. will miss spending so much time with them, since NJtimetable forbids. will miss dancing irish dance in the middle of the streets and making a fool out of oursleves. i still wonder how dancing can actually lead to singing stand by me, then school song, then NDP songs, then choir songs. and also wonder how 8 people just being crazy can attract most of the choir singing properly with a conductor....
cant wait to share chocolates with my class, make them sick, and have all of us take mc together. yet, am dreading tests.... but i shall survive. for i shall not melt in the heat of Singapore.
this statement, even i myself am unable to decifer if its a cry of joy or just a cry.
just a minute before our airplane landed on singapore ground, the cork airport closed due to the volcanic air. i know we're blessed with safety since im sure many of us have like used up most of our money on shopping and cannot survive a few more days in Ireland with that few euros left. however, the non-plus point is- school tmr.
i cant believe im actually mugging the last min for a lecture test tmr! so shitty. haiz.
the cork international competition results- singapore NJChoir, 5th position out of 10! we got a score of 89.67%! the 4th placing had 89.75%. less than 0.1% difference! what with all the decimals. 3rd placing was 90% so we were GOOD. GREAT. and ROCKING!
it was a fun experience. although 5/10 does not look to good. but i dont think that those numbers are the ones that count. what we should count is: not the number of hours but the amount of effort put in by everyone. the amount of emotions that staggered their way into our hearts. the amount of friendship fostered and bounded. the amount of love given and secured. and that adds up to infinity. this number counts.
it was definitely a treat to remember, kissing the magical stone that gives eloquence. hearing the unglamourous screams of our dear teacher who,in the most awkward position ever imagined, attempting to kiss the stone and seeing a friend kiss the wall thinking it was the stone was unforgettable. i will definitely miss that.
i will also miss cam hoaring with all my other friends. fromt he trip, i realised that camerers are magnets with attracts many cam hoars to come(this includes me!) fortunately, i didnt bring a camerer! it will take ages to upload everything!hahas
i will also definitely miss taking pains to take out eye makeup after the gala concert. hahas. it was fun preparing for it. nicole on my hair, jialing and yingli on my dress, hillary on my makeup. i felt like a movie star!! and an exhibition too. so many strangers asked to take pictures with me. hahas. >.- i have to thank: NICOLE JIALING(not me) YINGLI HILLARY ANDREA LIYU for helping me with my costume, hair and makeup. kudos to them!
it is an obvious that i 've grown closer to many. and i feel that i've known them better. will miss spending so much time with them, since NJtimetable forbids. will miss dancing irish dance in the middle of the streets and making a fool out of oursleves. i still wonder how dancing can actually lead to singing stand by me, then school song, then NDP songs, then choir songs. and also wonder how 8 people just being crazy can attract most of the choir singing properly with a conductor....
cant wait to share chocolates with my class, make them sick, and have all of us take mc together. yet, am dreading tests.... but i shall survive. for i shall not melt in the heat of Singapore.
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