'Gu dan bei ben qiu' fades in the backgound as i start recalling what i encountered today. speaking to wanxin makes me feel like shes the little me. having to go through the same agony of having the prenotice that he'll go away someday. Mel & WX. Mel & WX. JunYong and Jiawei. JY & Harrison. Mel and JY both know that they cant be together always but they are making good use of the time spent together. nothing to worry there, no sorrow too.
wan xin on the other hand is a different case. harrison told her it is going to be agonising for her to wait for him. this is exactly what i went through. and yes. it IS indeed very agonising. wan xin doesnt want to breakup. this is made clear. i feel alot for her. espacially to the little me. the pain she has to go through is definitely not any smaller nor less pain, painless. no. there is nothing i can do to help, unfortunately.
i told her to study with me. i do not know if i want to get closer to her or harrison. or maybe to run wawy from the stars on my desk. i do not know why i did not throw them away. is it that im sentimental or that im still not over him? nahs... i do not feel any pain already. right?
doing homework alone is hard. the prelims are coming up. as if i cant wait for it to come any sooner. harrison is feeling the stress already and he is imposing on wanxin (from how i interpret on what i heard). whether conciously or not, its wrong of im. i do not want to tell him either. coming between people is something i do not want to do again. disaster will happen. that makes me wonder too. how did my friendship with harrison go so bad? aren't friends suppose to say hi to each other when they meet? or is it like what wan xin said-- that he has become a loner? its high time he come out of his shell. why do i care so much about him? does he resemble wenjie?
wow. this is like the longest diary entry ever. but who cares? i'll just continue writing. wanxin agnes wan xin agnes wagnes. hahas. are we alike or totally different? you know, sometimes when i look at wan xin in the eyes, that us when im not distracted by her cute bobbling face, weird emotions just strike me. that brings me back to the taiwan trip i went this year.
i miss the time spending with ZhengJiang, my senior, at the river. poking him was fun, but thats not the point. t is not that i like him but i just find that he is very nice to accompany me late at night as i tried to let go of the fact that wen jie is gone. why am i talking about wenjie again> he should have dissapeared. should have, but couldnt. i wonder if he has a new gf now...
i'm recalling the time when he, his friend, or his friendS msn me. that was nasty. and the worst is, i still do not know who did it. easily trusting, (huajing) i guess i'll just leave him with the clean record and let my impression of him stay nice and lovely. im thinking of my friends now. SY, Cl, HJ, JM and Prat. pillars of support i say....
hrm... i need a hug. $99 teddy bear aint doing its magic anynmore. must have been stuffed out after the hour long hug. i recieved my DSA results tday from RJC. i didnt get in. so much for the sympathetic background huh? prelims goals:
EL- must move up to atleast an A2.
CL- move to a B3... and try not to be the last again.
AM and Phy- allowed to relax to at most A2
the rest- to be maintained at A1.
nothing else is allowed to fall. tough.
im thinking of rongjie now... i do not know why. oh. wait. im thinking of Aaron now, he used to be the one who i could call up and bombard with sorrows. should i call rongjie? OMG. what a thought. we aren't that close yet. ahh... i miss aaron, why must you go to australia? i remember what hazel told me about Bingcai. she says he comforts her. i saw a paragraph of his work today, from prat's phone... maybe i shoould make friends with him. i seriously need someone to confided to now...
what about jeshrei?? looking at the everylasting melody sore cover, there is a small and faint imprint of his name. bouncing in my mind. i wonder if i should talk to him. he seems like one who should be able to understand right?? i wonder why we were enemies in the first place... and how did our relationship get so well whereas mine and harrison grew so far apart.
C-G. CG chord.yes its music. my neighbour just rang my doorbell. asking for help to play a CG chord for him.. hes only 6 by the way. learning how to play row row row your boat. i want to lean how to play gu dan bei ban qiu as it still drifts in my mind. i wonder what wanxin will say when she reads this. i wonder what zhengjiang, prat, hazel, bingcai, jeshrei will say. i wonder what HE will say. im over him. i am. i wish. yes, i am. now i just need medicine to close the wound. i hate medicine. i hope it wont hurt anymore. doctor, may i have that numbing thingy first? oh. wait, im afraid of needles.
no time to lose. three weeks to prelims. prelims prelims prelims. this time, i must get 7 As and more again. i must. wanxin, study with me. jeshrei, talk to me. who to hug me? everlasting gu dan bei ban qiu.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
quiz
i was look and other ppls' blogs and stumbled upon this...
Quiz from :wanwan
All of the 14 people must do this quiz, unless he/she doesn't have a blog.Write the names of 14 people you can think off then answer these questions..(You can repeat the name of the person whom sent you this quiz.But the person can't do this quiz again..)
you don't really have to do this if you don't want to.
1. Audrina
2. Rachel Lee
3. Jason Lee
4. Pratyusha
5.Wan Xin
6. Cheow Lin
7. Jie min
8. Sheng Ying
9. Han Jia
10.Jarin
11.Jingyi
12.Terri
13.WeiLe
14.Nigel
1. How did you get to meet 7? (Jiemin)
school. one of me besties.
2. What would you do if you and 13 never met? (WeiLe)
then i'll never be able to play with his pencil box and get new hp games.
3. What would you do if 1 and 12 date? (Audrina and terrence)
wahs. then her bf will go crazy in NS
4. Have you ever seen 14 cry? (Nigel)
Nahs. but heard it alot.
5. Would 4 and 11 be a good couple? (Prat and Jingyi)
Nahs. too lesbian. besides, tons of guys will cry.
6. Do you think 11 is attractive? (Jingyi)
duh!! so many guys are all over her!
7. What's 2 favourite colour? (Rach)
easy! purple!
8. When was the last time you talked to 9? (Hanjia)
eh.. less than an hour ago??
9.What language does 8 speak? (Shengying)
my language!! which is english and mandrian.... and probably alien too!
10. Who is 13 going out with? (Lele)
no one? at least no one that i know of. probably his hp though.
11. What grade is 12 in? (terri)
grade 10! like me. with piano grade 7, going on 8.
12. Would you ever date 10? (Jarjar)
im no les. but we'll make a bubble couple.
13. Where does 5 live? (Wan Xin)
shit!i forgot!. oh, wait. i rmb le. opp 7-11. right? don't kill me.
14. What's the best thing about 3? (Jason)
hrmm. hard question. he is my brother. have to like everything about him for the rest of my life no matter i like it or not.
15. What would you want to tell 10 now? (Jarin)
hrm... help me with cheering comp?!
16. Whats the best thing about 8? (Shengying)
that she speaks alien like me?
17. Have you ever kissed 5? (WanXin)
no! jiawei will kill me
18. What was the best memory you have with 7? (Jiemin)
eh... spending time together in sch?
19. When's the last time you've seen 6?? (Cheowlin)
just now
20. How is 14 and 12 different? (Nigel and terri)
for starters, one has braces while the other doesnt. oh wait. he changed them to retainer le...
21. How did you meet 5? (Wan Xin)
in choir!!!
22. Is 1 your best friend? (audrina)
no doubt bout that!
23. Do you hate 12? (terri)
no! how can i hate anyone with a bright fuchsia pencil sharpener?!
24. Have you seen 4 the last month? (Pratyusha)
duh. i see her 5 times a week
25. What was the last thing you said to 3? (Jason)
wah lao...
26. Have you been to 5's house? (Wan Xin)
nope but i want to!
27. When's the next time you're gonna see 10? (Jarin)
monday... when wew go to school??
28. Are you close to 13? (Lele)
abit bahs... at least close enough to call him le le.
29. Have you ever been to a movie with 4 before? (Pratyusha)
of cos! and with everyone else in sec4 this year.
30. Have you ever gotten in trouble with 8? (shengying)
dont think so. unless getting rushed to eat by tiger is trouble then yesh.
31. Would you give 2 a hug? (rach)
thousands of time.
32. What best thing have you lied to 3?(jason)
that he looks nice in a skirt?
33. Do you know secrets about 9? (hanjia)
i think i know alot but i dont think they are considered as secrets
34. Describe the relationship with 12 and 14. (terri and nigel)
Stranger._.'
35. Any strange best things about your friendship with 9? (hanjia)
shes my laogong....
36. What's the worst thing about 6? (cheowlin)
that she is a XX tomato.. hahahs. dont kill me.
37. Have you ever had a crush on 12? (terri)
nahs. but his sharpener, yes.
38. Does 14 has a girlfriend/boyfriend?? (nigel)
ofcos!
39. Have you ever punch 1's face? (audrina)
punch her? no. hit her accidentally with a microphone and a table and a chair and many other tings, yes.
40. Has 2 met your mother?(rach)
Of course. my mum is the 1st person she see when she came to this world... we're sis for gods sake!
41. Did you ever physically hurt 3?(jason)
yar duh! he is like accident prone!
42. Do you live close 7? (jiemin)
not realli...
43. What's 8's favourite food? (shengying)
lady's fingers?
44. What kind of car does 1 has? (audrina)
she doesnt have a car. even if she does have one, she has to wait till she gets a driving liscense
45. Have you travelled anywhere with 9 before? (hanjia)
uncountable times
46. If you give 14 $100, what will he/she spend it on? (nigel)
not on my $99 teddy bear of cos!
grr. wad kind of quiz is this?! wasted so much of my time. but quite fun larhs... hahas.
Quiz from :wanwan
All of the 14 people must do this quiz, unless he/she doesn't have a blog.Write the names of 14 people you can think off then answer these questions..(You can repeat the name of the person whom sent you this quiz.But the person can't do this quiz again..)
you don't really have to do this if you don't want to.
1. Audrina
2. Rachel Lee
3. Jason Lee
4. Pratyusha
5.Wan Xin
6. Cheow Lin
7. Jie min
8. Sheng Ying
9. Han Jia
10.Jarin
11.Jingyi
12.Terri
13.WeiLe
14.Nigel
1. How did you get to meet 7? (Jiemin)
school. one of me besties.
2. What would you do if you and 13 never met? (WeiLe)
then i'll never be able to play with his pencil box and get new hp games.
3. What would you do if 1 and 12 date? (Audrina and terrence)
wahs. then her bf will go crazy in NS
4. Have you ever seen 14 cry? (Nigel)
Nahs. but heard it alot.
5. Would 4 and 11 be a good couple? (Prat and Jingyi)
Nahs. too lesbian. besides, tons of guys will cry.
6. Do you think 11 is attractive? (Jingyi)
duh!! so many guys are all over her!
7. What's 2 favourite colour? (Rach)
easy! purple!
8. When was the last time you talked to 9? (Hanjia)
eh.. less than an hour ago??
9.What language does 8 speak? (Shengying)
my language!! which is english and mandrian.... and probably alien too!
10. Who is 13 going out with? (Lele)
no one? at least no one that i know of. probably his hp though.
11. What grade is 12 in? (terri)
grade 10! like me. with piano grade 7, going on 8.
12. Would you ever date 10? (Jarjar)
im no les. but we'll make a bubble couple.
13. Where does 5 live? (Wan Xin)
shit!i forgot!. oh, wait. i rmb le. opp 7-11. right? don't kill me.
14. What's the best thing about 3? (Jason)
hrmm. hard question. he is my brother. have to like everything about him for the rest of my life no matter i like it or not.
15. What would you want to tell 10 now? (Jarin)
hrm... help me with cheering comp?!
16. Whats the best thing about 8? (Shengying)
that she speaks alien like me?
17. Have you ever kissed 5? (WanXin)
no! jiawei will kill me
18. What was the best memory you have with 7? (Jiemin)
eh... spending time together in sch?
19. When's the last time you've seen 6?? (Cheowlin)
just now
20. How is 14 and 12 different? (Nigel and terri)
for starters, one has braces while the other doesnt. oh wait. he changed them to retainer le...
21. How did you meet 5? (Wan Xin)
in choir!!!
22. Is 1 your best friend? (audrina)
no doubt bout that!
23. Do you hate 12? (terri)
no! how can i hate anyone with a bright fuchsia pencil sharpener?!
24. Have you seen 4 the last month? (Pratyusha)
duh. i see her 5 times a week
25. What was the last thing you said to 3? (Jason)
wah lao...
26. Have you been to 5's house? (Wan Xin)
nope but i want to!
27. When's the next time you're gonna see 10? (Jarin)
monday... when wew go to school??
28. Are you close to 13? (Lele)
abit bahs... at least close enough to call him le le.
29. Have you ever been to a movie with 4 before? (Pratyusha)
of cos! and with everyone else in sec4 this year.
30. Have you ever gotten in trouble with 8? (shengying)
dont think so. unless getting rushed to eat by tiger is trouble then yesh.
31. Would you give 2 a hug? (rach)
thousands of time.
32. What best thing have you lied to 3?(jason)
that he looks nice in a skirt?
33. Do you know secrets about 9? (hanjia)
i think i know alot but i dont think they are considered as secrets
34. Describe the relationship with 12 and 14. (terri and nigel)
Stranger._.'
35. Any strange best things about your friendship with 9? (hanjia)
shes my laogong....
36. What's the worst thing about 6? (cheowlin)
that she is a XX tomato.. hahahs. dont kill me.
37. Have you ever had a crush on 12? (terri)
nahs. but his sharpener, yes.
38. Does 14 has a girlfriend/boyfriend?? (nigel)
ofcos!
39. Have you ever punch 1's face? (audrina)
punch her? no. hit her accidentally with a microphone and a table and a chair and many other tings, yes.
40. Has 2 met your mother?(rach)
Of course. my mum is the 1st person she see when she came to this world... we're sis for gods sake!
41. Did you ever physically hurt 3?(jason)
yar duh! he is like accident prone!
42. Do you live close 7? (jiemin)
not realli...
43. What's 8's favourite food? (shengying)
lady's fingers?
44. What kind of car does 1 has? (audrina)
she doesnt have a car. even if she does have one, she has to wait till she gets a driving liscense
45. Have you travelled anywhere with 9 before? (hanjia)
uncountable times
46. If you give 14 $100, what will he/she spend it on? (nigel)
not on my $99 teddy bear of cos!
grr. wad kind of quiz is this?! wasted so much of my time. but quite fun larhs... hahas.
Friday, July 03, 2009
the lovey the dovey ww
hrm... today met wan wan and wei wei [heheh. not wen wen liao...] (hahas alliteration!! just thought about it) aft sch... and so pulled wanxin to go 7-11 with me. and harrison still not used to calling him jia wei. His english name and chinese are sooo different!! tagged along... then i realised that they were steadying!! hahas. grr... wanxin dint tell me earlier. owels, i kinda had this feeling that they were together long before. (well. i had this feeling that they were going to be together. if you [pratyusha] know what i mean. hahas another prediction came true!!) realised that my predictions kinda come true these days. owels.
she says she wants to keep it di diao. but i guess not many kinda come read my blog so it should be ok bahs. heehee.
so we went to find a seat and started chatting, and singing, after harrison left. then i taught wanxin emaths. which i dont think was to any avail. hahas. my teaching skills sucks. then wan xin says that she regretted not asking me to her house so that harrison can come too. hahas. grr. use me...
so we decided to do homework together some day. hahas. which means i might get to see them rou ma infront of me.... brrr.... hahas. aiya. i have to stop using the word "hahas" already! its making me feel so uneasy due to edward. from RMUN'09. cause the other time when we had a awkward moment in Rmun, he said what erm add in hahas like in msn to fill in the silence. hahas. see. there i go again. k,i'll try not to use hahas. lets see how many times i fail, yea?
wanxin says she doesn;'t have his blog. which im quite determine to find now and to see what he had written about wanxin for the past month. heheh... [so far so good] i know im nosey...i might pop into wan xin's blog later. hrm... [this is NOT easy... all edward's fault]
hey, i realised that my posts are gradually leaving the shortform addiction!! im actually writing in 'full-form'!! yay me!! ok back to topic. i shall not digress, hopefully.
ok. so wan xin told me that she's afraid of harrison leaving sch after O's or aft his ASEAN scholarship is over. i assure her on ASEAN cos its quite long term ( it is right?. yea , it is). but then after that i felt like crying and she, on the other hand, was smiling like the monkey, holding 2cymbals,and qiang-ing them together. hahas. well, i wanted to cry because i know the feeling and it hurts and it kinda like reopen a wound deep deep deep way deep within. but it was soon stiched up again by tam-bu, the goose and the swan, child of destiny, shinjiru and morning tide.
owels. may be meeting them either on sat or mon depending on when weiwei is free or whether wei wei even wants me too dian deng pao abit or not. hahas. i feel that i was so bright today... ahhas, even though it was in the blazing sun, shinging all its stinging rays on the 2lovebirds.
ok, so yesterday, i passed by my sharp edged drawer and it silced through my leg. it hurts like hell!! so it was the best time to go get ai and guan huai from my family. so i bet with my grandmother on how my family will react. i was spot-on for my mummy and a bit on daddy. hahas. then yesterday, whe it started stinging real bad, i went to take a good look at it. then, from i don't know where, a senario of the same cut appearing on my face. that time, i just stood there in a daze... i was so afraid larhs... when i asked my siblings and friends how they will feel if they were in that senario, all of them showed the same fear-ed face.
grr!! ok!! lets digress from that. hrm...ohh. i just realised i already used hahas. go find it yourself. damn! hahas. ohh!
she says she wants to keep it di diao. but i guess not many kinda come read my blog so it should be ok bahs. heehee.
so we went to find a seat and started chatting, and singing, after harrison left. then i taught wanxin emaths. which i dont think was to any avail. hahas. my teaching skills sucks. then wan xin says that she regretted not asking me to her house so that harrison can come too. hahas. grr. use me...
so we decided to do homework together some day. hahas. which means i might get to see them rou ma infront of me.... brrr.... hahas. aiya. i have to stop using the word "hahas" already! its making me feel so uneasy due to edward. from RMUN'09. cause the other time when we had a awkward moment in Rmun, he said what erm add in hahas like in msn to fill in the silence. hahas. see. there i go again. k,i'll try not to use hahas. lets see how many times i fail, yea?
wanxin says she doesn;'t have his blog. which im quite determine to find now and to see what he had written about wanxin for the past month. heheh... [so far so good] i know im nosey...i might pop into wan xin's blog later. hrm... [this is NOT easy... all edward's fault]
hey, i realised that my posts are gradually leaving the shortform addiction!! im actually writing in 'full-form'!! yay me!! ok back to topic. i shall not digress, hopefully.
ok. so wan xin told me that she's afraid of harrison leaving sch after O's or aft his ASEAN scholarship is over. i assure her on ASEAN cos its quite long term ( it is right?. yea , it is). but then after that i felt like crying and she, on the other hand, was smiling like the monkey, holding 2cymbals,and qiang-ing them together. hahas. well, i wanted to cry because i know the feeling and it hurts and it kinda like reopen a wound deep deep deep way deep within. but it was soon stiched up again by tam-bu, the goose and the swan, child of destiny, shinjiru and morning tide.
owels. may be meeting them either on sat or mon depending on when weiwei is free or whether wei wei even wants me too dian deng pao abit or not. hahas. i feel that i was so bright today... ahhas, even though it was in the blazing sun, shinging all its stinging rays on the 2lovebirds.
ok, so yesterday, i passed by my sharp edged drawer and it silced through my leg. it hurts like hell!! so it was the best time to go get ai and guan huai from my family. so i bet with my grandmother on how my family will react. i was spot-on for my mummy and a bit on daddy. hahas. then yesterday, whe it started stinging real bad, i went to take a good look at it. then, from i don't know where, a senario of the same cut appearing on my face. that time, i just stood there in a daze... i was so afraid larhs... when i asked my siblings and friends how they will feel if they were in that senario, all of them showed the same fear-ed face.
grr!! ok!! lets digress from that. hrm...ohh. i just realised i already used hahas. go find it yourself. damn! hahas. ohh!
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