Seeing Her Future

omg. this poem that im going to post may sound disturbing to you. maybe cause it is about sexual abuse. or maybe its because i wrote it when i was shitting the the toilet. once again, i cant believe im proclaiming this to the entire world!

i was on the way to poo when i saw my brother's project on crimes. and he had complied a range of poems that were about crimes. so i got inspired and wrote one on the go. so yea.

Seeing Her Future
It was a party in that room.
The male guests never stopped coming
There were females too:
One bound to the bed, frightened,
Another at a corner.

The guys prowled, dirtied the sheets
And protected her like how her clothes did.
They came in large packs.
She fought hard, the bed screamed.
The other at a corner- sitting.

The last guest arrived and the party ceased.
He scoured the room. He was hungry.
She was a greasy smoked chicken, well-done.
Smiling, an appetite was worked up.
The other at a corner- sitting and watching.

They left the party house
With their tails between their legs.
He had fun, she had trauma, she struggled
He finished the job.
The other at a corner- sitting, watching and next
In line.

one pink flower bandaid

people say that women forgive but dont forget. i dont like over generalisations, so i shall say that i forgive but dont forget. omg, this sounds so familial now that im typing it. maybe i've written this agnes's quote before? but anyways, as well as you treat me now, as well as i am treating you now, the awkwardness outwards is gone, but my heart still tells me to be wary cause one pink flower bandaid aint gonna cut it.

Burying is hard

Burying is hard
i felt so cold from within when the temperature was 30 degrees outside.

felt so empty in a crowded room, there wasn't you in sight.

i saw passed you, i was tra-nspa-rent, a fragment of my ima gin ati on.

i opened my mou-th to make a noise, halted by hes tit at ion.

there you were, moving on, i thought i did so too.

it was a colouful day, a vibrant one, but now its turning blue.

i drifted off into the world of electronics, while you were entrapped in another.

where was the earth, the land, the air, my friend, my buddy, my brother?

i could see your shape and you could see mine but substance was my doubt.

the frown carefully kept by a giggle, a smile, a pout.

i forced it down deep deep deep, the unknown tension has to cease cease cease.

i am on my knees begging myself to bury the hatchet please please please.

performing for MOE ministers

havent blogged in quite a while. was busy with CTs and choir. performed yesterday. was sooo tired today that i feel asleep from 2++ to 7++ pm. before yesterday were all practices to learn 2 new songs in time.

i realised a very interesting thing. my choir cher did not allow me to wear my shorts with the NJ formal house tee in orchard. she didnt allow anyone to do so. she was kinda like you wear sch uniform or you wear home clothing. but of course no one wore home clothes as we met up in sch. so everyone, except those who wore sch u, were running away from her. and the unlucky few, were so unfortunate to be caught by her. she told me to put a jacket on. i dint have one, so i borrowed. but outside was like freaking hot. and i wasnt going the way my friend did, so i returned the jacket.

so she confronted me the very next day cause i was even more suay than everyone else. she saw me on the streets without the jacket. but come on! i was on the way home le! and besides aint what i was wearing like suitable for going out? i do that all the time, everyone does that! if that wasnt allowed, then students should not spend all that money on buying sch shirts cause they can only wear them to sch and after their sch term, they cannot be worn! her logic is warped.

but anyway, i explained to her, saying that my friend and i were going in different directions and she looked at me as if i was just craping some reason to patronise her. Whatever.....

kk, besides trivial stuff like that, i managed to speak to a few ministers yesterday, which was nice. they asked a few questions that kinda made me go "okay....." like when one of them asked me if we were going to sing our favourite songs, i replied, "no, we will be singing the power of the dream and auld lang syne" then she went "so they are not your favourite songs? haha" yeap.... stuff like that. i tried to turn it into some joke by saying "it can be. :)"

am excited that i can fully enjoy my holiday now, but am also worried about the fact that one week has passed. need to start studying soon or i'll do badly in my CTs after the exams. i should sleep early today cause tmr i have my singing lessons. but, i only just woke up at 7++, so am techniquely not sleepy at all now. hope i can survive tmr. *fingers crossed*