uhh to waiting for photos to upload

been going out so much that imma lazy to upload all the photos. tmr will be the last day of 2011. cant believe the year just went past rather quickly, though i feel that this hols seem to be forever. cheers to a wonderful year ahead. imma sleepy now so.... nights everyone!

bored...

omg. the past few days have been going out EVERYDAY!!! i think i spent more time out then at home. going out later again with Jarin and gang. we're meeting at clementi at 1.30pm so now i have nothing to do. boredddddddddd. i was thinking maybe i'd write another poem. but what inspiration? uhhh. i guess i post one up when i think of it.

期待

还是跟女孩子说话比较容易、比较坦白。我决定要当个女强人、没必要依赖任何人。但这不代表我要当个保母。这，我很确定。我要一个可以依靠的男人。但这也不代表我一定得赖着他。时日还早，慢慢来吧。我有个感觉，他已经默默地等着我的出现。就让我现在耐心地期待。

Police

Just got stopped by the police. Took our particulars. Suay TTM.

Thailand 2011

Thailand diary

13 dec:
Setting off to Thailand. Packing of bags is so troublesome. Met jar jar at lot 1 and she helped me pick out shorts that I desperately need for the trip. Then, she gave me my bday prezzie!! Awesome shoes. Shall bring them to Thailand.

14 dec:
Touched down at 12+am. About 2.5 hours flight. Thailand is 1 hour later than Singapore so according to Thailand, I touched down at 11+ pm on the 13th instead. I just gained an extra hour of birthday? Hahaha. I found out that my facial wash has leaked though... Grrrr have to ration it throughout the next few days. Hope it can last!

Woke up from a good sleep since the airplane journey was a pain in the back. IT IS MY BIRTHDAY!! Received loads of wishes from friends thank you all. Too bad I can't reply... :( shall do so when I reached Singapore.

My birthday was spent mostly with animals. I witness people kissing cobras, I saw monkeys dunking bballs and I rode an elephant for an entire hour! I saw a gigantic spider larger than the size of my palm and its web was twice the size of my head. And to be clear, i ain't no small headed person! After that, I visited the long neck tribe and  even enjoyed an authentic Thai massage! Awesome... Just hours ago, I went to the night market to get some souvenirs for my dear friends. Can't wait to go again tmr. Bargaining is fun! Auntie even bought a cake to share with uncle(his birthday is tmr). Ok, Need to wake up at 5.30am Thai time tmr, so nights for now!

15 dec:
If there was ever a day to be sleepy, it would be today. Slept really late cause I still had to wait for my hair to dry. Woke up early in the morning as a panda and ate a huge breakfast. It's uncle's birthday today so we were going to eat the cake today. 

In the morning we went to the hot spring but it was too hot for me to even dip my feet in for anything more than 5 seconds. But the geyser was awesome! It shot up around 5, 6 stories high? Magnificent.

We had lunch at the Thailand, Laos, Myanmar and China border along the Mekong river. Maybe somewhere my sis is also looking at the same river. We were so near The border, my brother even had China reception! Hahaha  And the food is SPICY!!  Some of my friends thought that I would learn to eat spicy food after going to Thailand. Well, now I can say with utmost certainty that I rekindled my HATRED for spicy food!! My entire mouth, tongue and lips were on fire by the first bite. And trust me, there ain't a second bite. So lunch was little. I'll just take it as saving space for the cake! :) 

Cake was scrumptious! Afterwards, we went to the golden triangle where you can see 3 countries at one single location. I bought more souvenirs cause well I love my friends (and shopping). Went to the Myanmar border where we were literally one gate away from Myanmar. Loads of shops; bought nothing:( but it's ok since we were heading back for dinner then the night market again!

It is a super super long way back and I guess I slept so much throughout the day that I couldn't sleep anymore and the song "insomnia" was playing over and over in my head. Wonder If I would ever get the chance to dance that again... I miss being part of orientations.

I told myself the dinner better be worth all this pain since I was getting nauseous from the long van ride. And it was. It was good, too good and too much for me and my little stomach. The tour guide even gave me a birthday present! He is so nice :) I also managed to witness LADYBOYS! Omg, they are SEXY TTM! They make pretty girls inferior man. 

16 dec:
Today's the last full day in Thailand. We went to the temple that required 325 steps to reach. We also went to visit some tribe in the mountains and to see the royal orchid park thing. There were sooooo many orchids- some larger than the palm of my hand; some the size of "."!

Then, we went to the supermarket for the purpose of buying a tube of toothpaste. But we ended up buying other tibits. By we I meant auntie and her family. My family bought nothing. But things went fine until dinner when my stomach starts to hurt like mad... Urgh... On top of that, I was shaking real bad.  Agnes does not like pain.

Vomited in the hotel. I swear I just lost 2 kgs today. Yay...

17 dec:
Last day in Chiangmai. I think today I probably experienced the most efficient sightseeing ever! Went to the umbrella factory, jewelry factory, silk factory, bird nest place, the local market and visited the Mandarin oriental hotel. Omg, the hotel, could charge 4K sing dollars per night! It's uber big. They even grow their own vegetables. We bought quite a lot of food and headed to the airport.

Omg again. I just couldn't believe my luck. I saw 2 NJC chemistry teachers sitting on the seats right in front of me on the plane! Aka, sitting beside my papa. Brrr... Scary. Hahas. Can't wait to touch down and see my friends and family. Let me think of the message I should type once I receive reception:

Hey kids, mama's back!! :)

亲爱的朋友

亲爱的朋友，你的烦恼我很乐意去听。你的哭诉我很愿意聆听。你心想的，我知道。你所感觉的困扰，我明白。你因为有太多选择而不知该如何是好。选选自己吧，不必想太多。你也要坚定，别冲动，让事情顺其自然。所谓：船到桥头自然直。不须担心，你会渡过这一段时期的。

Wishing upon a partial lunar/solar eclipse

Closer. Good to know, wonderful to feel, awesome to be. :) cheers to that! Now I just want to go to bed and wish that by the time I wake up, all the application stuff magically finishes themselves. Adieu!!

Why I no go out with girls?

Oops you caught me. :X but anyway, today was at first kinda boring until my uncle came to visit and brought me out to lunch. Yummy yummy lunch. Hahas. He told me a lot of the good trait my daddy embodies which I've never even thought to look out for. I see admiration in his eyes and awe in mine. I also realized that we shared a lot in common, especially when it comes to music. Eye opener indeed! Hahas, but after he bailed, I was left stranded at lot1 without anything to do or anywhere to go. So I ended up home; after the all important purchasing of gong cha.

After laying for a significant amount of time, I decided to move my ass to Bryan's to relieve the boredom I attempted to subdue with lame jokes on my iPhone. We played guitar hero and band hero (whatever the difference). And I TOTALLY (was) KICKED (in the) BUTT!!! Heehee. Okok but then, fun as it may be, I still rather the conversation I had with nic whilst on the way home best. I finally know how the argument originated and I guess it, in some way, gave me closure. I'm glad we're still great friends. And maybe, just maybe, some walls will start to crumble.

Dear heart, say "ah"

I used to think that you were never going to open up. that you were some distant entity that i could not comprehend, or have the chance to do so. i always felt a barrier, self-made, to protect myself from the repetition of past occurrences. but today you did and i felt a connection; not in the love sense. it was comforting. in return, i told you some of what i could share but i still held back on some though i would have loved a listening ear.

you really opened my eyes today and brought me into another zone that i've never thought to think about. on the receiving end, i've never even thought about the amount of effort, time, thoughts and emotions the other party has to invest into this. for self-protection, i've never initiated. i see things i like in different people but i dont see a particular person i could potentially love. the wait seems too long and at times, annoying. but the pain of the wait, i've learnt, is a good exchange for the pain of forcing a relation, the pain of the breakup and the pain of the feeling of being single again. its easier to be single after being single for so long. you will feel withdrawal symptoms after a breakup.

i also saw what our minds are thinking of now. i no longer give myself excuses though i still use them to brush away the questions of others. im envious of others while others are envious of me. but i dont feel inferior. and you dont see how i see the rest; how i see myself; and how i see you...

The escaped puppet and the entrapped rat
I stare into the window and saw you,
little lab rat. You were in a little cage,
eating your food with your little hands.
You had no concern for the rest of the world;
you probably have never seen the world.
Cherish your ignorance and you’d probably
be famous like I was. My strings gave me rope
burns as the audience cheered whenever I
bowed unwillingly. Now I am just a runaway
puppet, wishing to be controlled once again.
Do not cut off your strings ever.
Decisions are hard and independence is not
worth what you experience in the outside world.

I see you staring at me through the window
and I am envious. Your strings were cut
and you could roam free by yourself.
You could choose to do anything in the world;
you probably could do everything in the world.
Cherish your freedom and you’d probably
never be manipulated like me. I’m fed good
food as the scientists cheered whenever I
succeeded unknowingly. Now I am just a trapped
pet, wishing to be free once again.
Peel open that sunflower seed and reveal the grain.
Compliance is hard and dependence is not
worth what you endure in confinement.