dissapearing acts

i dont lyk dissapearing acts. i realli dont. it juz irritates me. will you actualli call me everyday wen u go china? or wen there are obstacles i wont hear from you? obstacles could vary. thats a fact. and there are some obstacles i would rather not think of. mayb u cud live a broken promise, but i cnt live wif a broken promise. n i remembered that i promised u i wouldn't cry. if u break yrs, i'll break mine. wadeva u do will cause my life. u made me love, u taught me love. the sweetness and bitterness of it. ~heartwrenching

yesterday

yesterday, i kinda went onl9 from round 5 or 6pm to 1am. he told me that he would go onl9 everyday at nite but i dint know what tym he would be onl9 so i waited n waited but he dint show unfortunateli. not sure if he is going to show today. but i decided not to wait anymore. so yesterday was bit dissapointing cos he aso dint contact me in anyway so we dint talk. wonder if he was in trouble or smth happened to him. owels. hope this doesnt happen often.

today's songs

today i tot of many songs...

彩虹：
也许时间是一种解药
也是我现在正服下的毒药
看不见你的笑我要真么睡得着
你的声音这么近我却抱不了
。。。
你要离开 我知道很简单

TI AMO:
Ti Amo Te Quie ro
每一天都要爱上你 想着你沉入梦境
一张眼一清醒第一个想到又是你
Sarang Heyo and I Love You
我每天都要爱上你 少一天就会遗憾
陪着你的光阴怎样都不算蹉跎

烟火：
我在你眼里看到闪烁 冷冽的寒风把你吹向我
抱你在我怀中没想太多 爱情里的心动
常常让我难以去捉摸 付出感情太多
原来多情人总被伤的最重
想起你的拥抱 这感觉短暂纪念 在你我之间
有时说变就变就像烟火 下一秒消失不见
想起你的微笑 这画面短暂纪念 放在心里面
你说过的永远留在昨天 就当它是我最美的纪念
。。。
还有你陪我走过这一切 记忆中你那些微笑的脸

爱与希望：
当爱与希望 投射炙热的太阳
昨日泪光 会随时间都蒸发
别轻易放弃 明天要许更多愿望
装满了勇气 就更有力量

当爱与希望 倒映暖暖的月亮
再回头望 又是筑好的家乡
我知道未来 还有好多路要闯
我打开了窗 看见了晴朗

下一个天亮：
等下一個天亮 去上次牽手賞花那裡散步好嗎
有些積雪會自己融化 你的肩膀是我豁達的天堂
等下一個天亮 把偷拍我看海的照片送我好嗎
我喜歡我飛舞的頭髮 和飄著雨還是眺望的眼光
。。。
時間可以磨去我的稜角有些堅持卻永遠磨不掉
請容許我 小小的驕傲因為有你這樣的依靠

i tink tot of so mani songs today bcause i was attending my grandma's 1year death anniversary. she actualli passed 1 day b4 chinese new year eve this year... but in order nt to let it b too close to next yr cny, we went wigf the ceremony today... to end off, joysticks' burns hurt, n dey leave a mark.

signing off,
poison ivy..
was also known as,
former little india..
now also known as,
the adorable agnes.. :)

pleasant

hrmm.. today was a pleasant day... no surprises or shocks... nth much actualli... dint think much... juz like i always do... the blank mind of me... today, i was juz like doing my homework... did 5 topics out of ten of amaths... quite pleased at myself. but i have to brush it up if i wana complete all my homework... owells,today he told me to giv him ALL my photos... repeat... ALL... so wen i did decide to send him my photos, he had to go offl9... looks lyk he doesn't have the luck to have my photos... hahas... jia yous bahs XP

differences

this christmas was one of the more non-homework type. remember that when i was young, used to always dance during christmas, with my family that is. but this tradition of ours kinda faded whe i reached secondary. this year, i think i danced again. in my heart.

watched twilight with him yeaterday. it was about this girl and a vampire... this girl, she was injected with venom in one part of the movie. then this vampire, inorder to save her from her suffering went over to suck the venom out, but to understand that she was in pain that she could not be with him forever. this kind of reminded me of him and me. he came into my life and sucked the venom out of me. yet again, causing me to be unable to be with him forever. i have now, less than even a month to be with him. thats sad. we couldn't even be together for amonth. i remember that we got together on the 20th DEC. yet, he's going on the 19th JAN... its sad.

owells.. while we were watching the movie, i did put my head on his shoulder. but then... why must he sit so low... my head could barely touch his shoulder. but i still managed to do so. :) loved the feeling. i want to meet him on the 9th and 18th jan if possible.. hope he can make it. as in for a whole day. i want to go back to that bridge. even just for awhile, i would be satisfied. make my wish come true will you??

The notebook and the stars

The notebook and the stars
look at the notebook and think of the stars,
close your eyes and im right there where you are.
feel my cuddles, my hugs, embrace,
remember my smiles, my eyes, my face.

the rosy cheeks and hazel eyes,
will miss you, when to china you fly.
even though we're not together,
our hearts still link from now to forever.

so when you're sad, don't you frown
cause i am sure to be there when you're down.
stand up tall, lift your head high,
i'll promise you that i wouldn't cry.

the test of time, of people, of us,
we have to take it, let's not fuss.
we decide our fate, it lies in our hands,
do not crush it, or it'll turn into sand.

my eyes are teary, i do not deny,
they won't come out, i told you i'd try.
your lovely lips, your tender kiss,
oh, these little things i'll miss.

think of the notebook and look at the stars,
close my eyes and you're right there where i think you are.

Went out with her

went out with her todayy. say rmun outing became me, my qing ai de, nigel and ken. haha. onli 3ppl frm rmun. oh well. counted lurh. haha. i got feed her finally horr. haha. (: then she kiss me X) haha. anyways, today went for the wedding dinner at church and imagined that it was the both of us there instead saying i do. will my wish come truee? thinking of her so much. den she ask me go look at notebuk, look at star, close eye then she will be right nxt to me. haha. but nth beats having her in my arms. nth. i love you. and yes i'll look at the stars. look at them tooo? muacks

wen jie

met him again today

nigel (doggy) so cute!.....me(half cute)........him


y is the pic so yellow??



doggy says he loves this pic cos his is cut of... weird.. i noe

sorry ken, for nt putting yr photo... its bcos we took it after u went into the mrt.. cos our mrt came soooooo late.. so we were bored... :P take more photos with u nxt tym!!

today i met him... i told my parents it was an RMUN meeting. well, it is! ok, it was... until today when some of us said that they couldn't make it.. so all was left was me, him and my friend Ken.. since there was like soo little ppl, i called in man power and got my other friend, whom i must thank for keeping me up soo late yesterday, nigel.. this morning.. ken said that he dint want to go since so many other ppl aren't going.. sooo.. in order to get my excuse to my parents right, and of cos to see him agn... i spent like 1hr trying to pursuade kenneth to go... i sounded to desperate!!:P

owells.. the most important thing is that i got to see him today... once agn.. he was sweet.. he still is.. i kissed him like on the cheek today...again.. u'll noe if u read my last post :)...after he went for his relative/friend's wedding, he smsed me... saying that he dun wan me to kiss him in the cheek anymore... so i told him tt i wont kiss him le... n he said he wans me to kiss him... juz nt on the cheek... -.- guys... cnt make up their minds...

heyy, have you ever wondered what guys do at a shopping centre instead of going there to eat or watch TV or pei their gfs? answer: nothing... going out wif three guys (instead of the fact that i got a teddy bear) = nth to shop for... cos number one... dey dono what to shop... number two... dey duno where to shop... number three... dey were broke...

owels.. bac to the kissin point..so i told him tt i cn kiss his hand den... den he say he wan sumwhere nearer to the cheek... i said forehead... he said lower... i said nose... he said lower... i said chin.. den he said tt i noe where to kiss... den i shut..hahas... hopefulli he reads this post bcos i wan to tell him that i dun wana move too fast... i mean we oni met a few times... owels... i hope he understands..

cheers,

agnes:) (one of the qing ai des)

yesterday... im CLUELESS

yesterday...
my mind was like: i tink we should just stay as we are... thats is because im CLUELESS about what he thinks everyday... (that is.. except for me) but even so... hw m i so sure tt he is even thinking bout me?? questionmarks filled my mind... everyday, one, two, many would pop up... soon.. every nerve is tensing because of him... it is suppose to be like that wen u like someone rite? or is that love... once again, CLUELESS... im starting to heat up... hahas... i feel like a stove... black and oily... well... mostly because of the heat.... ok, i ain't making any sense now... is that what im suppose to be? m i suppose to make sense or what? love, is senseless... thats what i heard... then again... love is all bout sensing...

when i first met him...he was... well, an ordinary person i met... just like anyone else... but when he held my hands... my heart skipped... it throbbed... it wobbled... then, it sank... shit... he is going away to china... it sank down... deep down... as it sank, it hit my internal organs... destroying them... the piercing pain... unbearable... Excruciating! but it all seemed fine... my face made no comments... it just stared... blankly... then he knelt down... with flowers in his hands... *FLASH* someone was taking pictures... funi... my friends were playing with him... he seemed to like/dislike me/him/who... i have no idea.. like what everyone always do, i played along.. acted as if nth mattered... i thought him holding my hands were just what a friend mite do to console one another... how nice... then things happened which i realli dint care so lets fast forward till the part where we were alone.. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

we were alone...
well, technically, i was with him and he was with me... so... whateva...he walked up close to me... he held my hand... it froze... yet again was heated... was boiling... he locked his fingers with mine as i looked at him... he faced front as if nth happened... he turned and so did i.. pretending... what is this all about?! friendship? smth more? what? say smth!! but we just walked... i saw the lighting... "i think we chose the rite bridge" what a stupid thing to say!! but at least it broke the silence... still CLUELESS bout everything... tt is until we reached the glorious mrt train… I nvr thought of it as glorious before… it was kinda a drag actually… but with him… it seemed, nice…

in that mrt…
he told me he had this thing bout me… FINALLY!! So that’s why everything is so weird… he likes me… ooh…. Shit… great… crap… nice… damn… lovely… ass… wonderful… wow… CLUELESS bout what I feel… lets juz say tt we managed to go through the whole mrt ride and end it with smiles and question marks… big smiles and huge enormous humongous question marks… and just maybe… a small tiny exclamation mark… do I like him?? Do I like him!! :)

the next morning…I woke up thinking bout him… I tried to sleep… I failed… damn!! Its the morning.. no stars! So since I cant put images of him into the stars above me… I think the only thing I could do was juz leave it in my mind for the time being… n I mean FOR THE TIME BEING… unfortunately… tt was a wrong move of me… because it was a sly one… it grew roots into my brain… it went inside out… as I was rehearsing… tears filled my eyes as I thought of the sight when he would leave… shit! Not now! Not when there is 269 ppl watching me! No way! Go back in you crazy drops… cant you juz evaporate now?! I closed my eyes… shit! Nono! Another wrong move… damn!! Go back into my eyes.. don’t come out! Well.. aren’t those tears defiant!... but at least I know smth… I think I kinda like him…

And so this went on…and on… and on… and on…

the day I cried for him again…
was the day I went to penang… I tink I drowned him on the fone… but he dint mind… at least I tink he dint mind…. I hope he doesn’t… this isn’t going anywhere… I told myself… im making a decision and that’s that! The deadline? When I come back from penang! So both of us agreed to meet on the 18th… but he doesn’t know that im going to make the decision then… everyday, when in penang, he would sms… he doesn’t know that every sms means a lot in my decision… when I came back on the 17th, he told me that he cant make it on the 18th… strike one… what a blummer… 3 strikes and your out. So we’re meeting on the 20th….

On the 20th…Which is just now… I made up my mind to say that we should stay the same… stay as we are.. alittle more than juz frens yet nt to that extent… my heart is cold… freezing… dead… I cant believe im going to do it!! But yesterday… the stars warmed up my heart… (i wonder how many stars he gave me though... i'll ask him nxt tym...) he wrapped his hand around my waist… and he unfroze my heart and gave it life… I knew cause it started throbbing, hard… then magical things happened and I followed my friends advice… I kissed him… I tink that should give him an idea of what I tink of him…

I hope I dint make the wrong decision...
Please don’t make me regret this… don’t make me read out this poem to you eva…

Dumped
You won’t know till you felt it
The complexity of a guy's mind
I just do not understand
The existence of the human kind

Where emotions of anger live
Happiness and sad too
Love and jealousy and heartaches
Boo hoo hoo

Tangled, twisted and cramped
In our head is our brain
Which in biology class
We learn it’s what keep us sane

I have been taught from young
That our eyes show us what we want to see
But now that I want to see your thoughts
My eyes start betraying me

You said you wanted me
A thousand, millions of times
You wanted to be my boyfriend
I know now that it were all lies

Cause when I said yes to you
You told me you had a change of heart
You no longer had feelings for me
And thus you want to part

My heart is shredded
Torn, stabbed and killed
It was cut, sliced and disfigured
Beaten, pureed and grilled

I have come thus far
Though having lost my bearings
But I still sincerely hope
That you remain the happy bird singing

i'll update this after sat:D

so here i m blogging cos sum1 asked me too.... i realli wana rite lotz of tings bout him... but i aint opening this mouth until i meet him tis sat... so looks lyk wen jie, u'll have to wait!! hey look! this is my 1st short post! :D