i burned. i sweat. i screamed. i threw. i hurt. i shook. i don't understand.
but even now, i need to bash something up. cause the adrenaline rush has made me hungry for blood.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
the guy who begged me not to put his name down..
someone wrote me a poem today (YAY!) cause i made him do it. Hahas. Am quite impressed myself that he could finish it within the time limit of 15mins. Poem:
Too many shadows in my room.
Too many hours in this midnight.
Too many corners in my mind.
So much to do to set my heart right.
Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready.
Oh but if I take my heart's advice.
I should assume it's still unsteady.
hints of emo-ism i guess. with array (pun intended) of hope. :)
ok so this asshole didnt come up with this poem himself.-.- he got it elsewhere. *roll eyes*. although he probably cant tell, cause y'know, mua is lit student, but this actually reflect what he was telling me about his life. about studying and exams.
note to self: He likes mums, kids and bosses but dogs are a no-mention.
Too many shadows in my room.
Too many hours in this midnight.
Too many corners in my mind.
So much to do to set my heart right.
Oh it's taking so long I could be wrong, I could be ready.
Oh but if I take my heart's advice.
I should assume it's still unsteady.
hints of emo-ism i guess. with array (pun intended) of hope. :)
ok so this asshole didnt come up with this poem himself.-.- he got it elsewhere. *roll eyes*. although he probably cant tell, cause y'know, mua is lit student, but this actually reflect what he was telling me about his life. about studying and exams.
note to self: He likes mums, kids and bosses but dogs are a no-mention.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Gems
Gems
You see them across the playroom.
Tiny fat lumps playing with round balls,
Innocence shone through their eyes like diamonds.
Grotesque.
You see them across the classroom.
Pearls sprouting on their faces- a fashion statement.
Gel coated heads reflected light.
Magical.
You see him across the living room.
That gold plated neck now yours.
You steel knife harvested his inner ruby.
His headlights off.
Your appetite finally satisfied.
Smile.
You see them across the playroom.
Tiny fat lumps playing with round balls,
Innocence shone through their eyes like diamonds.
Grotesque.
You see them across the classroom.
Pearls sprouting on their faces- a fashion statement.
Gel coated heads reflected light.
Magical.
You see him across the living room.
That gold plated neck now yours.
You steel knife harvested his inner ruby.
His headlights off.
Your appetite finally satisfied.
Smile.
I need a blender
and they all lived happily ever after... just that they are all living sperately.
everyone loves a happy ending. and i think i got mine as i close one chapter. the chapter that has practically consumed me. and now, i feel lost. should i be happy? or sad? confusion. but i know one thing. i am supposed to start working hard in my studies, which is not happening.
did my toenails today. i dont even know why i did it for. probably cause i was bored. but of what? i wasnt even doing anything today. despite the huge pile of homework i placed on my study table.
yesterday i talked via msn. it has been a long time since i chatted on msn. and as i described my life to the other party, i found out how extremely boring i was. a full fledge MUGGER. i need a life. my life. not the life of another, cause well, my studies cannot afford it. this doesnt really suck. but it is sian.
was chatting to forester. cool name. cute photos. ^^ he's nice. very sociable. he reminds me of what i was. the part of me i've lost. i was always the loud out-going one. attention seeking. but you change when you make friends who are luder and more out-going. you slip into quietness.
i wish this year could just zoom pass cause i dont think i can take it anymore. im feeling some sort of stress, but not enough to actually make me feel absolutely afraid. im like stuck in the middle like an apple slice in snow white's throat. i need to start working hard. and also getting a life. but i dont see how these polarities can have a good blend.
I need a blender
yes yes! put everything in.
a good mix of life is the perfect drink.
a dash of spice and a whole load of brains
and those little pills to take away the pain.
dew drop tears and volcanic lava,
prom night desses with crystal tiaras.
flowers with mud, bushes with torns,
angels with halos, and movie popcorn.
throw my friends in and family too,
my bed, my pets and even my school.
turn on a switch and get me a glass
and call 911 just in case i pass.
everyone loves a happy ending. and i think i got mine as i close one chapter. the chapter that has practically consumed me. and now, i feel lost. should i be happy? or sad? confusion. but i know one thing. i am supposed to start working hard in my studies, which is not happening.
did my toenails today. i dont even know why i did it for. probably cause i was bored. but of what? i wasnt even doing anything today. despite the huge pile of homework i placed on my study table.
yesterday i talked via msn. it has been a long time since i chatted on msn. and as i described my life to the other party, i found out how extremely boring i was. a full fledge MUGGER. i need a life. my life. not the life of another, cause well, my studies cannot afford it. this doesnt really suck. but it is sian.
was chatting to forester. cool name. cute photos. ^^ he's nice. very sociable. he reminds me of what i was. the part of me i've lost. i was always the loud out-going one. attention seeking. but you change when you make friends who are luder and more out-going. you slip into quietness.
i wish this year could just zoom pass cause i dont think i can take it anymore. im feeling some sort of stress, but not enough to actually make me feel absolutely afraid. im like stuck in the middle like an apple slice in snow white's throat. i need to start working hard. and also getting a life. but i dont see how these polarities can have a good blend.
I need a blender
yes yes! put everything in.
a good mix of life is the perfect drink.
a dash of spice and a whole load of brains
and those little pills to take away the pain.
dew drop tears and volcanic lava,
prom night desses with crystal tiaras.
flowers with mud, bushes with torns,
angels with halos, and movie popcorn.
throw my friends in and family too,
my bed, my pets and even my school.
turn on a switch and get me a glass
and call 911 just in case i pass.
Monday, May 09, 2011
ouch
i swear, there must be a metal pole of something sitting on the right side of my spine in my body..
Wednesday, May 04, 2011
SYF 2011
SYF 2011
You look ahead and see your mother.
Daddy is holding onto your waist,
Clutching it as if he meant to choke you.
Uncomfortable feeling. You shake to break loose.
You inch your way forward, alone.
You fear of falling down. You raise
Your arms for balance. Eyes focused on mama.
You inch your way forward, alone.
You hear the encouragements slowly die down.
People gossip behind you, putting you down,
Talking about how slow you are.
Your siblings are afraid you bring down the family name.
You persevered and fought on.
Tears dripped and music came out from your mouth.
And when you reach out for mummy,
Your aunt picks you up and everyone cheers.
mummy-GWH
aunt-Gold
daddy-scoldings??
siblings-teachers
family name- obviously the school
You look ahead and see your mother.
Daddy is holding onto your waist,
Clutching it as if he meant to choke you.
Uncomfortable feeling. You shake to break loose.
You inch your way forward, alone.
You fear of falling down. You raise
Your arms for balance. Eyes focused on mama.
You inch your way forward, alone.
You hear the encouragements slowly die down.
People gossip behind you, putting you down,
Talking about how slow you are.
Your siblings are afraid you bring down the family name.
You persevered and fought on.
Tears dripped and music came out from your mouth.
And when you reach out for mummy,
Your aunt picks you up and everyone cheers.
mummy-GWH
aunt-Gold
daddy-scoldings??
siblings-teachers
family name- obviously the school
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