certificates

i have stomach fluuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! and my result slip.

One of them showed:
Biology- B- 83 percentile
Chemistry- S- 21 percentile
General Paper- D- 69 percentile
Literature in English- D- 47 percentile
Mathematics- A- 87 percentile

The other showed:
Lacteol Forte Sachet- 1 sac 2 times a day- for diarrhorea
Dhalumag mixture- take 10mls 3 times a day- for gastric discomfort
Domperidone tablet- take 1 tab 3 times aday- for abdominal distension
Anarex tablet- take 2 tabs 3 times a day- for pain, fever and relax muscle
MC- to certify that Lee Jia Ling is unfit for school for 1 day

MCMCMCMCMC

sick with a fever. sore throat. grrrr... cant feel my limbs, but am feeling every once of pain in my back and neck. hope to get an MC for tmr so that i can mug for chem and bio tests. besides, then i wont have to rush through my GP clinic work. :)

for the sake of my As for my As

ok so these are some incidents that happened today. am writing it here, well, cause this is my blog. and you probably already know it cause the URL has the word blogspot on it. so im kind of stating the obvious here. and if you are so much a smart alec that has like lit genes or something, you'd probably hear from my tone that im not in such a good mood now.

so today at GP lesson, i got back my essay. it is 25/50. i expected better. well, more of i wanted better. i couldn't really expect much cause i wasnt really into writing the essay unlike other times. my cher gave some harsh comments. not a big fan. he questioned my hardworking-ness. he claimes i did not do any research at all. well, DUH! i remembered specifically that he said the assignment during the holidays need not be toooo serious. oh wells, i did do research in the end. so much for putting in effort. tmr there is another timed-prac essay. have to go do research later. -.-

in Bio class, somehow, a political subject was raised. there was a heated argument, between her and... well, only she was talking and talking and talking... shut up bitch. ok, i get the whole harmony-happy-friends thing but im tired of hypocritism. im no longer going to pretend to be nice to her anymore. i am just going to be a downright bitch. actually, shes not really that bad. she just annoys me. i have a low EQ. too bad for her.

there is too much saga happening in my life and i know i cant stop them. i spoke to nan today, suggesting to her about my ultimate plan of being solitary for the sake of my As for my As. ok, unless you are a sad singaporean teenager, you probably do nto understand what i meant. i mean to get A grades for my Alevel examinations in November. then again, im not sure if my plan will work. im not sure, even, if I would work.

due to all these drama amongst me, i believe i'd tried to relieve some of my feelings to some friends. i feel i got closer to some. some i feel weird telling them cause of indifference and some.... well, one of them. its such a weird feeling. its like how he seems to know so much of me. and he makes comparisons and speculates. so supposedly, i should feel close to him. yet, i dont.
maybe it is because of weird feelings in the past. but i think it is mostly that he doesn't open up to me. i know he has been telling lies. i mean, even if you do not want to tell me about something, there is no need to lie.

whatever. i need to start thinking A levels instead of everything else. i just wanna apologise to anyone who has seen this and felt pissed or guilty. ok, im being hypocritical again cause eitherway, i dont really care. back to GP research now...

options

dearie, your mouth spoke truth but your eyes lied. should i believe your heart or your mind? should i be wary or brush what i saw today aside? please do not give me options. i knew you were going to lie, but i still asked you either way because i did not want to choose.

No
Look. Look into my eyes.
Do you see it?
No? Look deeper.
Your answer’s there.

Look through the façade, but
do not destroy it.
It is essential to make
others think that I care.

Can you see it now?
It is crystal clear.
Flooding? They are not mine,
but your tears.

Buck up some courage and
face it. The answer is no.
It was, it is and it will
forever be, no dear.

:(

i feel mean. :(

LISTEN~

Background info: Sarah and I were like thinking of starting a consultation group with Mr. Whitby to improve our grades. And I wanted it small so that our own issues could get addressed. I have no idea how SHE got to know about this and whats more, got included.

And it was like a buy one get many free. Our group just exploded until it was 10 of us. So I said it was going to become a tutorial class size. But when she entered, she kinda dominated everything I I cant get my point across to her in the first place cause she CANNOT listen. So we split and thank god we are in different groups.

So it was 6 of us and 4 of them. The 6 of us settled stuff early and smsed mr whitby. Her group was slower and she held N--- back saying, “don’t you leave me to sms mr whitby alone”. What the shit was that for? Shouldn’t consultation sessions be set up between teachers and the very students themselves? I could see what right she had to butt in our consultation session.

[To everyone] Hey guys! There are EXTRA consultation sessions by Mr Whitby on 1) Thursday 2.30-4.00; N--- is the point of contact for Mr Whitby on that one; if you would like to go for that her no is [number] SMS her! 2) Saturday tentatively 9.00am; if you would like to go for that just sms me.

[Angrily] I called her. but the call didn’t get through.

[To me] Yup, whats up?

[Fuming but controlled] Why are you asking other people to join our consultation session?? We have already settled it ourselves. You can ask ppl to join your session but I don’t think it’s too nice to ask on behalf of us. Some f us are not too happy.

[To me] Agnes, I sent the SMS out only to those in our lit class. N--- and I agreed; if you don't wish it fine I will not.

[Smug] N--- Agreed?? Are you sure??

[To everyone] Hey guys, I apologize for the mistake made. The Thursday session is FULL/CLOSED and some have complained about my actions in inviting people so if there are still those who need consul, please contact me. Again, Thursday is no longer available and is closed.

[To me] I showed her the sms. But I’ve just sent another out. Have a good day.

[Rolling eyes] FYI, it’s not just the both of us. But thank you. Have a great day too.


ps. final CT results: B.S.A.D.D for B.C.M.L.Gp repectively

BADS

everyone's so depressed... i kinda satisfied with my results, apart from chem. Math-A, Bio-B, GP-D. got 2nd in class for these three subjects. Lit is unknown and chem is an S, sadly. hopefully i will do better nxt time. have to work hard.

i see different ways my friends took to cope with their results. some poured tears, some poured other kind of fluids. to me, not that im encouraging the act, but i really cannot be bothered anymore. desensitized is the word. they are the "experts" in the end. as long as they know their limits, come back alive, feel better and can pick themselves up, i really dont care if they go on slicing anything. retards.

Goodnight, my child

Goodnight, my child.
One round, two.
Bubbles. Water.
Swimming.
One round, two.
My lovely three second brain.

Weird white creatures.
Big eyes that blink.
Tails that split.
Weird white creatures.
They experimented on me.

They took me out of water,
Measured my length,
Weighed my mass,
Without letting me catch my breath,
Until I could breathe in dry ‘water’.

They fed me GoodFoodAnd I turned purple.
They injected me with some fluid
And I returned back to normal
With an extra hand with toes.

They operated on me
And altered my neurons.
Global warming is currently an issue.
Everyone needs to do their part to make a change.
What am I doing in all these H2O?

When my parents went back home and the lights were off,
I stared at a blank wall as hard as I could with my lidless eyes
Counting out loud one two three, one two three, one two three,
One two three, one two three, one two three, one two three, one two three.
“Is my nightmare over?”

that little voice

recently i kept having that little voice in my head, telling me negative stuff like how i should drop my chem to H1 cause i suck at it. grrr... im afraid that one day it may grow too strong and i would just be too weak to resist.

That little voice
You need to move out now.
I’m sorry for the late notice.
I’ll remember the good times we had,
and the bad times will be chucked aside.
But you need to move out now.

There is no point in crying
or asking for the reasons.
There isn’t any other choice.
So please turn around, do us a favour
and get away from me.

You need to move out immediately.
Your stuff will be mailed to you.
We’ve know each other for so long,
you are practically me.
We wear the same clothes everyday.
We look perfectly identical.
I’ve always listened to your preaching-
You need to move out now.

Please promise to get somewhere safe,
preferably far away.
You need to move out now, so
please close the door on the way out
of my life.

My Teacher's Pen

yesterday i cut my leggg. my foot actually. its not really a big cut but it still hurts. yea.. so cutting legs sucks. but having friends, who offered to bend down and help me nurse it, is bliss. so thank you hanjun and bryan! i hope the cut doesnt leave a scar...

k so yesterday was funn. cause i spent the day with friends at bryan's house, doing homework. today, didnt go as well... today we got back our chem paper 1 question paper. i wrote down the answers so i could calculate my total marks. i got 8 out of 20. one more mark to a pass. this sucks. hopefully i can pass my chem overall. i knew it wasnt very hard. i guessed i didnt put in as much effort as i could. this is the first time i've felt regret after a test/ exams. i hope i could at least get an E. crossing my fingers.

tmr i'll get back my some of my lit papers back. my cher has already announced the mark range of the entire cohort for the first essay. 6-17 out of 30 marks. he said the bulk had 7/8 marks. i hope i recieved a double digit. i want to excel. please let me excel. im pleading.

My Teacher's Pen
It sailed across her cheek.
A massive cruise throbbed with the waves
in the sea of flush; blush and the rush
of adrenaline set her ablaze.

Firemen came, leaving trailes of red.
Tears to the rescue! Put out the heat.
Smoke fogged up the sight; light and the tight
muscles caused wrinkles. Iron them neat.

She withers away from reality,
entrapped herself in lines of art;
in a new world driven by wind; gin and the sin
took over the power of her heart.