Read a blog today about someone's jc school life which I thought I could really relate to at some level.
It somehow brought me back to results day and teachers. It felt weird and terrifying, as If I was reliving all of it again.
But there is a significant difference. I wasn't the person. I was a bystander, who was looking at the younger version of me. So kinda like dejavu with a twist.
This allows me to see things in another perspective. I don't want to bore anyone with all the details of the flashback. Long story short, I realise that I was always "lucky".
My grades from the major exams are usually less than what I desired. However, those grades still manage to keep me going in the general direction that I was hoping to go with my expected better grades. It made me think if it was god at work.
I have always been outright agnostic. But it seems that maybe there is something bigger that puts me through my presumed obstacles.
Didn't go on stage (no >5A1s) for O levels.
But got into NJC.
Didn't get >3As for A levels.
But got into NTU Accountancy.
Now that I am in accountancy, I am still doubting if I would ever be satisfied with this decision. I dont think I have doubted a decision so much before. I do hope I don't regret it.
Maybe it's another of god's doing. Maybe he has some plan for me in mind.
Or... Maybe it is just easier to believe that there is someone out there making these plans for you just so you don't feel so alone and so demoralized when things go wrong.
