i know i just blogged today but since my mood has changed i find it fit to blog again. so i just incidentally sang afew of my primary sch choir songs. at that time i was so happy. and the only thing that could upset me was "i don't friend you arh!". i sang the songs as if i were back there. 11 years old. not giving a shit about the conductor. dint really heed whatever he was saying. all i cared about was to sing loud loud. like that, will get "good good".
although i sang softly to myself and that the songs started off quite not so happy melodies, i felt the wonder of singing again. it was no longer stress. no longer effort-driven. no longer a responsibility; a burden. it was just "sing!". breathe whether in between sentences, phrases or words. when im out of breath, breathe. change the keys in the middle as i deem my voice fit. and of course, no focus. and i realised the songs were sounding happier and happier.
my primary school songs had messages. meaningful once. unlike now, when im singing songs i do not even understand or pronounce, for that matter. and the songs mean nothing to me. whereas in primary school, the songs, my songs brought me through life.
i will reopen my scores once more and not practice them, but enjoy them. and for the songs i have to practice. they would have to wait. i need guidance in my life now, so burdens have to wait their turn. im going to find the love for singing back once again. i shant let it fly. i'll tie tightly onto it. please do not tug me too tight till i break, for if you do i'll fall to the ground while you soar to the unknowns.
