Today I attended a relationship workshop. And it has got me thinking in another direction of things. And of course, naturally, it has got me digging into my own past. my box of recollections. Surprisingly, the first guy that came into my mind was not someone whom I had the potential to say I do to. It was my dad.
I guess it’s the same, but I guess it’s different in a way too. But how different are they? They are both love. One is to a guy 32 years older than me, another is to less bearded people, and the last is to the one who can and will protect me decades into the future. Saying this, I can’t help to see what an immature thought to think that such a guy will appear in front of me in the short term, much less thought of it before in my life’s history.
I realized that I’m starting to prefer blogging in Chinese to English. Probably because I feel that Chinese is a more emotional language? And that when I start tying in English, I start to create weird grammar that only I (or any other weird personnel) can understand. But then again, I guess they produce different results, and either way, you get my point.
So yea, past BGR love would mostly not be talked about here now. I just cant see how I could indulge in such immature thinking in the past. Met my junior yesterday. I understand how she felt about wanting to not care but be loved. I had that feeling before, and ended myself up in such a huge mess of a life segment. Actually, it wasn’t a mess of MY life segment. I think I screwed the other party up instead, and for that I’m sorry.
So I was thinking and thinking about the former 2types of love, and the result that came out should probably be applicable to the latter one. I realized that I am not perfect. I concluded that my dislikes and mostly what people detests too. I expect a lot from others. I give some too, but I just don’t know if I shortchanged the other guy.
Accusations. Remember me saying how I just hate being accused? Well, I still do, no change in stance for that. But the thing is that I realized that I do accuse. Maybe not on a big scale, but I do accuse. I think its time to start reflecting on myself more often, instead of always reflecting in the shower after what’s done has been done.
So the relationship workshop has got me digging into myself. Who am I? I’m ready and eager to find out. But I shall have patience and discover.
I can’t believe I’m quoting this, but at least it shows that I did listen to morning assembly:
The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.
