Today's poem is inspired by my paternal grandfather who right now has cancer. Because of his old age, he is not going for chemo. It pains my heart to see him getting more frail each day. I admire his attraction to the world outside despite all. He goes out every morning to see the world and sip his usual cup of coffee. Today, he told my maid that he was really really happy because I sat with him to have dinner together. I don't think words can really reflect how I am feeling right now.
The Way He Sees
He sees the world every day.
He gets out of his bed into his chair and out to his world.
I swear I was prettier than that little missy pushing him around.
He waves at me.
For years his eyes has never changed. The same wave as
he steps through the same threshold. When he left for work,
when he left for our freedom, when he left for the grocery,
it was in different outfits, different legs and different faces but
he has always looked at me the same way and never leaves
without his signature smirk.
Life used to be crystal clear, then a blur, then grey with the cataract sky.
I remember the bus stop we first met.
I remember the rice fields we splashed our way through.
I remember the tree we first held hands.
I remember the kiss, so brazen, at the hidden corner of my father's warehouse.
Permission. Arrangement. Engagement. Marriage.
He bore me children of seven. Seven bundles of smelly diapers,
raging tantrums, disobedient students, anxious candidates,
proud graduates, driven businessmen and grandchildren.
Today the smirk has gone old.
The concrete ceiling, I see myself in, cries in the rhythm of my
youthful pacemaker. He has been through family gatherings and world
wars with my cheers ringing in his ear; each time reigning undefeated.
Who would have known that the boy who once held my world in his
hands would be beaten by a tiny cell?
From my own prison, I can see the cancer wear him down
day by day; his clock delaying one more second every sunrise.
At least he gets to see our world eachvery day. My eyes feel his
every wave and my heart replays that entrancing smirk.
